Lenovo Acquires the United States of America

Posted April 1, 2009, 10:00 a.m.

The United States of America, a privately-owned financial services, insurance, and automotive company, has been acquired by Chinese computer-maker Lenovo. Barack Obama, president and CEO of the United States, has hailed the acquisition as a new beginning for the 233-year-old USA.

The United States began life in 1776 as a democratic republic, hailed around the world for its new and innovative political system which was intended to derive its just powers from its citizens. After a turbulent 232 years, the United States acquired several banking, insurance, and automotive companies in 2008 and reorganized as a private business. Then-CEO George W. Bush, after initiating the privatization of the U.S. government, ceded authority to Barack Obama in the country’s final free election under the previous charter (‘Constitution’).

The U.S. Board of Directors, formerly known as ‘Congress’, agreed to sell the business to Lenovo after contentious debate when it became clear that their core businesses—banking, finance, and automobiles—were unsustainable without major foreign investment.

Lenovo officials were unavailable for comment.

Scott Bradford is a writer and technologist who has been putting his opinions online since 1995. He believes in three inviolable human rights: life, liberty, and property. He is a Catholic Christian who worships the trinitarian God described in the Nicene Creed. Scott is a husband, nerd, pet lover, and AMC/Jeep enthusiast with a B.S. degree in public administration from George Mason University.

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Philosophy seems to me on the whole a rather hopeless business.

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